I Should Be...

I should be resting but I ache
for the one who is already sleeping.

I should be drawing but I am in awe
of the one who is already singing.

I should be praying but I already
drowned in the boat that was sinking.

I should be giving but I forgot how
to not feel guilty in what I was getting.

I am going to grab Life by the face...

...and then gently kiss it on its head.


Drawing - 2.5 x 3.5, colored pencil and pen.
The words "grab Life by the face" come from Todd, Brother Sonny's Blog. I adore those words.
I shared them with my sister. She added "then gently kiss it on its head." She had me laughing and crying at the same time with that comment.

Tender Face of Mystery

Bring me the tender face of mystery
as I shop in the aisle
of the broken hearted

Turn me upside down
Deepen the nest in my soul
Stretch the branch of love
so this wee bird may perch

Bring me young leaves to soften the blow,
to pad my landing as I jump
from the cliff into the abyss
where dreams come true

Artwork - pen, 2.5 x 3.5 inches. Drawn last night along with the art from yesterday's post.
Life is Beautiful. Life is heartbreaking. All the more reason to sit by the window and pause. All the more reason to enjoy some real maple syrup...and lick every last bit off the plate. Yes, I admit; I will do that for real maple syrup.

After And Before The Path

the bag of apricots sit on the shelf

the Cherri-o sits along the baseboard
reminding me of my rampant imperfection
and somehow I am still loved...
...and Loved

the room is empty
but Presence lingers
stealing my breath

the pillows provide dreams
of my longing
my fears
and my embarrassment

and I will rest
and I will look at my childish self
with a tender hand
God will stitch this anchor to my belly...to my Being

over wrought
Foolish
Glorious

God, make me a Lover
Make me a Live-er!!

Gratitude

My heart is grateful.

Paper Doll - Spring 2009.

I will see you all next week. Going on a wee blogging holiday.

When I return I will answer Dan's question regarding the stitches in my art.

I am grateful for my blogging friends...readers and commenters. Thank you all!

Quiet Thursday

Kneel.

Laugh.

Crack.

Tie.

Pray.

Thank.

Repeat.

Unleash.

Sift.

Settle.



I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought;

and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

- G.K. Chesterton


Artwork - colored pencil on treated artboard, 2009.

Beauty and Sadness

Life was suddenly too sad. And yet it was beautiful.

The beauty was dimmed when the sadness welled up.

And the beauty would be there again when the sadness went.

So the beauty and the sadness belonged together somehow.

-Dominic, William Steig, 1972

Paper Doll - made this past weekend.
The quote comes for a book a dear friend let me borrow:
What The Doormouse Said
Lessons for Grown-ups from Children's Books
Collected by Amy Gash

Back in August I made this POST.

Yesterday evening, under a cooling sky the baby (fallen from the nest too soon) bird was finally buried. Services were held by me, my daughter and my mom, Heather.
It reminded me that beauty and sadness DO belong together.

Forgive

Rip from my shirt these tiny buttons of resentment.

Take these heavy-healed shoes...
lead me barefoot through the field of freedom.

Bind the hem of this dress with the stitches of your golden thread of Forgiveness.

Take me whole.


Let me be before the world what I am when I'm alone
And when my vision falls below, let there be forgiveness

Let me answer when I'm called
Let me know the voice it right
And when it's deep inside my soul, I'll know it by its light

Help me to make the loving choice

Let me answer when I'm called by the might and the small
In the service of my soul, let there always be forgiveness

Forgive

-Carly Simon


Sketch - Created February 21, 2010.

Mighty Shadows

Even the tiniest pebble
can make a mighty, long shadow.

Winter...I will miss you!
You have been so good to me.

Spring, I think we can be friends.

Photo - Taken this winter on a wonderfully cold and sunny day.

Things to SEE

God blossoms from the shoulder of the elephant

who becomes courteous to the ant.

-Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinksy


Photos - Courtesy of family friend and blog follower, Paul Baylink.

Mustache Friday

Because some days I simply need to lighten up

with a black paper mustache.

New Collage

Purple

nails

of

Grace

hold

these

bones

together.

And The Day Came

And the day came

when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful

than the risk it took to bloom.

-Anais Nin

Drawing - White china marker on black paper, colored pencil.
Playing around while watching TV with my daugher.
This is one of my favorite quotes.
Glory Be to the tiny bloomings.

Hafiz & Kitchen Memories

Slipping

On my shoes,

Boiling water,

Toasting bread,

Buttering the sky;

That should be enough contact

With God in one day

To make anyone

Crazy.

-Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Artwork - Gouache and pen, 2000. Inspired by a drawing exercise by Natalie Goldberg.
My childhood kitchen - a happy place. I remember sneaking in to steal bites of butter or brown sugar when no one was around. I remember dropping a giant, full jar of apple juice on the floor and my mom didn't get angry with me. I remember the sound of the screen door...the way it slammed shut as we went in and out. I remember the phone on the wall and when I could finally reach it and call my friend, Abby. I remember my mom grinding her own flour and making us pancakes, served with chokecherry syrup that she made with the berries that grew outside in the back yard. Sweet memories.

Love Love

simple love
tired love
laughing love

Love where my sister hugs me
long and tighter than expected.

Little seeds growing kind of love...

big love
grand love
Divine love
painful love

I'll take it all.
Sign me up!

LOVE

Green Hills

Gift me a yellow sky
soft and warm

Sing me a tender bird
sweet and high

Save me your tired threads
frayed and flimsy

Pray me a room of tiny lights
alone and lovely

Laugh me through the night
again and again...

Coloring - colored pencil on brown lunch sack, created last night while sitting in bed. (That is my kind of Saturday night!)
Yesterday, while driving my daughter to her dad's, we feasted on the green hills and pastures. They will be like this only a short while. I was thankful!

Wee Threads

Cross-pollinations.
I can see now why Susan of The Whole Blooming World
uses this in her comment box.

Monday.
I posted THIS.
My old art.
Words by Joseph Lazenka.

Susan commented.
Todd commented.

Susan's comment inspired Todd to sing.



Yesterday, I received an unexpected email from
Joseph Lazenka, Director, School of Lost Borders.
He was thanking me for the pairing of his words with my art. (Phew!)
The simple email warmed my heart.

Threads.
Weaving the story in my creative heart.
I am thankful.

Quiet Heart

OUR...



Sketch - Done about a year ago.
I found it stashed in my drawer.

Silent Horizon

There is a silent horizon
behind my eyelids
Dark
with a lightened edge

Each time a new Sun rises
I sometimes tangle
in the glory of possibility

Settle
me
New
Steady waters

So many fish
So many fish
but there is only
one rainbow scale
i would like embedded in my soul

Love

If I Stayed In Bed

If I stayed in bed and wrote God

a love letter

would it really help anything?

What You Might Look Like...

Say yes to your desire even as it tears you open,
and ask more of you than you know you can endure.

What else can you do but offer yourself to the call
that brought you alive at your first breath?

This is the mystery that you have longed for
and with the grace of your living sacrifice yourself to it daily.

Believe in all that you desire
and allow it to multiply like loaves of bread
and feed that which you and your people are hungry for.

-Joseph Lazenka


Artwork: Colored Pencil, 2002.

Undressing Sunday

To the one who
turned away to cry...

To the one who
closes my eyes in prayer...

To the one who
sits in the rain with me...

To the one who
wails on my back...

To the one who
breathed through me...

To the one who
breaks my heart in a
thousand tiny pieces and
holds them in the palm of
their hand...


Love
Love
Love


Drawing - 2 x 9 inches, pen and colored pencil.

For Today...

Spring Doesn't Hesitate

Spring does not hesitate and say,
"Oh...ummmm...I am not sure if I am ready."

Why should I?


Photos - taken Thursday, March 4.
Early signs of Spring...

Chloe Driving

Now she is a licensed driver.
Chloe.

What an odd Rite of Passage...

I flounder as a mother.
This stage does not come naturally to me.
I miss the days of sorting buttons,
digging in the dirt, reading stacks of books,
PlayDoh, stickers and crayons....
long tubby times where I would sit on the edge of the tub
and show her pictures from National Geographic...
snuggly jammies and bedtime.

How do you know what threads to keep
and which ones you cut? And when?

But it is still the little things...like this song.
It is one of her favorites...mine, too.
We sang it at the top of our lungs
on the way to the DMV
under a beautiful, cloudy sky.

Photo - Me and Chloe, October 1994,
ages 22 and 1. And yes, that is my baby
girl, Chloe, even though she looks a wee
bit like a boy in the photo.

New Felt & Hafiz

I think we

are frightened

every

moment

of our lives

until

we

know

Him.

-Hafiz

Unravel the Door

sweet bones
thin

tender heart
speaks

little bird
weeping

hold this one feather of truth
under an enormous sky

sing this one song of love and sorrow
to fill the wilds between

Light The Lamp

And God comes sweeping through the house of my soul
to rearranging the furniture.

...move this here...push that over there...slide this her...wait no, over here...

He entered through the back door

while i was waiting on the front porch

standing

holding a flat hand to my brow
to shade my eyes from the Sun.

Pray for the visit

The Guest arrives unexpectedly...
...but perfect.

He moves the furniture

quickly, but furiously.

It hurts!

In the belly of my tears

He stops and brushes his hands clean

"Yep, that oughta do it for now."

He left on the warm breath of a soft, gentle wind.

My soul bounces around the new arrangement

I am scared, but not really.

On the table is a note from God:

Dear Jenny -

I told you after this visit nothing would ever be the same.

Leaving both doors open

I laugh

I cry

I sit in the middle

Sketch - drawn last night. Left handed.

Wheelbarrow of Dreams

16 years
wheelbarrow
tiny trinket in the cupboard
in front of the dishes

remind me of love
remind me of dreams
keep me anchored
please don't let me fly away

16 years
wheelbarrow
tiny trinket in the cupboard
in front of the dishes

I think your job is done