Saturday, November 14, 2009

I Have Been Waiting

HOT thick tears -
so hot they burn my skin.
Lumbering down my face...
trickling down my slow...they almost tickle.

It rained the day before you died.
And I could sense you didn't want me to visit.
It was the following day that matter so much.
You waited for me to arrive. Thank you.

It rained the day before we released your ashes.
It has been two months.
And I can sense you...still opening the door to love
wider and wider and wider and wider...

I remember how your chest soften and
turned warm again...relaxed...your skin aglow and pink.
But only in your heart area. Your heart!
It was my secret miracle.
OH, I WAS WATCHING! I was watching, my friend.
I wanted to shout, "Everyone, LOOK!"
I didn't.
I watched a mystery unfold before me.
Gone. Returning to cold.

Then you flew away.

All I have done since then is laugh and the same time.
And yet...I am so very happy.

Photo by C. Johnson.


  1. jenny this is beautiful writing that touches on the inside and outside of grief and letting go so well. i've been on a grief bender for the lasy eleven and a half months, saying goodbye to one after another important person to my life. but it's been an opening up of sorts - have a peaceful day. steven

  2. Jenny, this is a wonderful poem. I was touched. You were definitely present in that moment. Alive. Your poem captures your presence of mind. May I ask who it was that died?

  3. Steven - I am sorry you have had so much loss recently. It always amazes me what the heart can endure, yet still be so willing to return to loving. Thank you!
    Dan - Thank you! Gary died. He was like a father to me. Here is my first post about him.
    Love and peace to you both.

  4. Oops. Now I know links don't work in comments. If you are interested, please see Friday, August 28 - I Wish I Had A Gary.
    Thank you.

  5. Jenny, I've ever made some songs according to certain kind of impulse.