Saturday, June 13, 2009

I Don't Know

When I told people I was going to start this they would always ask, "What are you going to blog about?" I would answer, "I don't know."
'I don't know' - the answer I love and hate. When I was seven my mom told me I DON'T KNOW was never an acceptable answer. Two months ago she retracted that statement. Now I am free to use it!
What are you going to do when you daughter graduates from high school?
I don't know.
What are you going to do with your artwork?
I don't know.
What are your plans?
I don't know.
How is your friend with cancer? Is he going to be alright?
I don't know.

My love for the answer lies in the honest. I truly don't know.
My despise for the answer lies in the uncertainty. Do any of us truly know?
Part of my soul swims in mystery. And it is good. The other part searches for something to make sense...an answer...a guarantee. And there isn't one.
Lately, I have been spending too much time in the latter. For the moment, it is raining outside and my soul is appeased on this dark, wet morning. I can breathe.

How long will the rain last?
I don't know.

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