Monday, June 22, 2009

Sad Schools

Sundays are a mystery.
Growing up, Sundays consisted of scattered newspapers, football on low volume & last minute homework. (We kept it holy.) Usually by noon the Sunday Sad Schools would arrive.
What are the Sunday Sad Schools? It is the heaviness that Sunday brings. It creeps in...cold fingers wrapping around your heart, leaving you feeling lonely and disconnected. It's a wet, wool blanket that drapes your soul - a feeling you can't quite shake off. Even if you are around the ones you love most, the S.S.S. can still find you.
Yesterday, the S.S.S. found me in a way they haven't found in me in a long time. When I woke up, there they were!
I tried a nap. There they were when I awoke.
I tried drawing. Still there.
I tried staring out the window. Laying perfectly still in my bed, I breathed and just sat with the feeling. Maybe I could move through them? But alas...they were still there.
Out of desperation, I invited myself to my sister's house. She could save me! That's what sisters do!
Ironically, it was my beautiful 14 year old niece (age 3 in photo) who shifted my heart. We laid on her bed and talked, shared secrets, chewed gum and discussed the mysteries of the universe. Our conversation bounced between sacred and silly, punctuated with the occasional 'high five.' Be still, my grateful heart...the Sunday Sad Schools vanished. Thank you, Carmen!

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