Durango

A friend sent me this photo of Durango, CO.
Long ago I lived there.
Be still my heart.

Love.

No Golden Day

My heart was reminded of this in the wee morning hours:
There is no "Golden Day."

Then I questioned: Am I forgetting? Or am I letting go?
And I questioned again.
Can I live my stories rather than talk about them?
Who really wants to listen anyway?
We have these stories...precious to us. Where do we go with them?
Maybe we have lost the art of Listening.

Just for a moment, drop below the story line.
Please.
Meet me there; the place beyond words.
Love.
Love.
Love.




Altered Photo
Old Fashioned Cut & Paste
Created by my friend, Deb
1999-ish (or even older)

A Shard of Glory

Look closely.
You can see her smiling.

Listen quietly.
You can hear her soul rejoicing.
There is laughter, too.

Touch gently.
There...on her cheek...do you feel it? A tear...occasionally.
It is a pure, clean tear; not the kind that was there before, full of anger, pity and misunderstanding.

The old mysteries have withered; new ones wait to be born.
It is there, in between, that you will find her floating on the shard of Glory she found waiting in the long Autumn shadows.

Colored Pencil - 2.5 x 3.5 inches

Drawing inspired by these words:

But listen to me; for one moment,

Quit being sad,

Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.

Breaking Heart

"What do I do now?" she asked through the tearful eyes I never see.

"Let yourself be sad," I answered.

Not sure what is worse - having your own heart break or watching as it happens to your child.
(I guess I could have told her to drown her sorrow in a jar of peanut butter and a bag of milk chocolate chips.)

I like my first answer.
Let yourself be sad.

But...

...eventually, as my grandma says, you have to pull up your socks and get out of the garden. I say that more for me than Chloe.

What I Learned Today

Early this morning, I walked alone in the darkness.
It was cold! I loved it.

Here is what I learned:

Humility - hello, old friend. You are a blessing and a curse.

I would rather be happy than right. At least for now...

People over water their lawns.

And on this cold day, I am beyond joyous that I can wear a sweater!
I say that autumn makes me sad; it does. But there is a peaceful sweetness to Fall that settles my soul. I have been waiting for that.
Ahhhhhh...

Hands I Love

I love my mom's hands.
We took this photo the other day.
I was happy with it - not just because it turned out,
but because I now have a photo of those hands I love.

Be Afraid

Do not be afraid to be afraid.

Be afraid, exult, hope, despair, wait, and wonder.

And then LOVE.

- Stephen Foster

What is the point of anything if we can't return to love?

And why can't we allow ourselves time to return to that love...monthly, daily, hourly...moment by moment?

To love love - isn't that the point of existing?

Gary.

He died 4 weeks ago.

He was not a perfect man. But he was extremely generous with this his time and money. I appreciated him, but he drove me crazy sometimes, too.

I shared with a friend the story about Gary hugging me.

She pointed out how huge that was...that I accepted the love.

I could have told Gary, "No...no...you need your rest," as he raised his weak arms up to me.

My friend pointed out that I took the love he had to offer. I took it fearlessly...without question. I took his love and his hug.

He loved me.

I accepted.

How often do we truly accept the love people offer us?

How often do we keep love at arms length, or only open our hearts half way because it is safer that way?

I ask because I am still learning.

Love love.

Photo collage, 2004.

The man is my Great Uncle Chris McCririe.